Rosas, claveles,
Pásig ameno,
Luce con galas mil
–Jose Rizal, Junto al Pasig
[Yoink! Poem was here, and has since been revised.]
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Here, the italicized Spanish verse is Jose Rizal’s opening chorus to Junto al Pasig. Not sure what else I can offer by way of explanation. As far as the effect of my lines pushing up on Rizal’s lines, I’ll leave that all to you to decide.
Barbara,
I’m really enjoying these city poems you’re writing. As for the effect of Rizal’s invocation against your lines, I like the friction that’s created with the music and the imagery (the Divine and the waste) you’re creating here.
Hey, thanks Rachelle. I think I’ll be changing the “patron saint of …” refrain to something else. “River of…” to try to be more keen about the relationship between the addressee/subject and object in the possessive phrase.